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Post by Circe on May 16, 2005 16:41:26 GMT -5
In the balkan countries men are definitely nurtured to be the initiator in relationships. In my country, if you make eye contact with a man, you are inviting him to come and talk to you. Where are you from, Molika? From which country, I mean, if it's not a secret...
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Post by murphee on May 16, 2005 17:21:18 GMT -5
When I was single and lived in the big city, I took many paranoic precautions to avoid being approached by strange, aggressive men. I wore a wedding band, baggy clothes and sunglasses to avoid eye contact.
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Post by Anja on May 16, 2005 17:42:06 GMT -5
Hey annunaki, I would be severly creeped out too if that happened to me. It's just not normal in the culture I'm surrounded by, so if I see some older man looking at me wierd or coming up to talk to me in a conspicuous way, I'm not going to take his race or native culture or whatever into consideration. I'm gonna get the hell out of there!
Reminds me of that time I got honked at and yelled at by some older man in a parking lot when I was wearing a shorter skirt. That kind of thing may be normal in France or whatever, but not where I live, and apparently not in Sweden either.
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Post by molika on May 16, 2005 18:06:18 GMT -5
It's no secret Circe, but you do realize that from now on I am a marked woman I am from Macedonia.
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Post by zemelmete on May 17, 2005 3:38:51 GMT -5
In the balkan countries men are definitely nurtured to be the initiator in relationships. In my country, if you make eye contact with a man, you are inviting him to come and talk to you. In the US, making eye contact is simply saying 'hello'. Needless to say I was rather unsuccessful in the United States in beginning relationships, especially since I wouldn't even look men in the eyes! Good thing my husband found me... My good friend told me that there is similar thing in Southern France where live many arabs. She lived in Marseille 2 years. She told that in the beginning all the time arab men were greeting her in Marseille streets :"Bonjour Madame!" My friend was wondering about that until somebody explained her that she just was all the time looking in the men eyes. Here, in Latvia is absolutely nothing to look in men eyes. Nobody here is thinking that it is sign of inviting to come and talk. Actually many things are under cultural environment. For example several years I singed in mixed choir. We often (both girls and guys) dressed in one room before/after concerts. Nobody was specially looking each to other. Guys didn't show any interest if some girl was undressed and was almost completely naked. I guess in some other cultures that would be incredible.
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Post by Shenuda on May 17, 2005 4:52:12 GMT -5
I am internationally demanded. Exactly like me
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Post by amksa on May 17, 2005 5:45:30 GMT -5
it seems that women here share a lot of prejudices against those insolent darky men, called Abdullah or Mamadou (from exotic countries where sun favours a powerful sexual appetence) who have the nerve to talk to them... don't go to Morocco, because even if you are an ugly fat european you will be valued like a treasure and you will hear some nasty moroccan poetry in a clumsy French : "ksss ! ksss ! vous îtes tillmont bille, viens un peu par ici ma gazelle !" Moroccan can fall in love in a seconde ! but seriously, i think that rape is something that obese drunk white men are more accustomed to use as seduction technique.
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Post by Ponto Hardbottle on May 17, 2005 6:08:42 GMT -5
I am not an obese drunk White man. I have seen obese drunk White men and believe me, those men are out of breath lifting one leg after the other. I reckon rapists are males being 15-45 who are of any race, not drunk and definitely not obese. I have to agree with some of the women here, certain Southern Europeans and Middle Eastern young men are the ones who cannot control their hormones and lack respect for women especially if the woman is on her own. I have lives in Australia now for 8 years and I can tell you every incidence of pack rape have been by Lebanese muslims.
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Post by zemelmete on May 17, 2005 6:15:08 GMT -5
... don't go to Morocco, because even if you are an ugly fat european you will be valued like a treasure and you will hear some nasty moroccan poetry in a clumsy French : "ksss ! ksss ! vous îtes tillmont bille, viens un peu par ici ma gazelle !" Moroccan can fall in love in a seconde ! but seriously, i think that rape is something that obese drunk white men are more accustomed to use as seduction technique. Thanks about warning. Seems Morocco is one of places where my nerves could be spoiled very easly. I can't endure importunate men. But of course, i would better prefere those insolent Abdullahs and Mamadous that those fat drunk white rapers. BTW could you translate that sentence in french language please?
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Post by Ilmatar on May 17, 2005 6:32:27 GMT -5
When I was working in the International Sales, I dealt a lot with the North African and the Middle Eastern people. I didn't have any problems dealing with most of them, even though they had a more agressive way of doing the business then people from the Far East. I had a couple of funny experiences regarding the eye contact, though.
The first time I was participating an International Trade Fair. I was showcasing our company's product line to a potential new North African client, when he suddenly started giving me compliments for my eyes. I thought it was weird, since I didn't think I had done anything to provoce such a behavior. Sure, I had taken an eyecontact when handing him my business card, but other than that I was sitting on the other side of a table and kept my eyes on our catalogue.
The second time a Libyan businessman who had been living in Europe for several years came to our company for some negociations. I wasn't personally dealing with him, but he came to meet us at our office. The strange thing was that he kept his eyes to the floor and refused to shake hands with any of us. Later on my boss - a woman -, who had been talking to him for hours, told me that our client had upright told her that his religion didn't allow him to watch or touch any other woman but his wife. The wife - who we later on learnt had much more knowlegde on our line of business - had been visiting the company with her husband. However, she had sat behind him and had only communicated with the husband. Even my boss, who had been to the Trade Fair in Dubai and dealt a lot with Saudis etc. hadn't ever seen anything like that before.
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Post by Ilmatar on May 17, 2005 6:50:59 GMT -5
I am not an obese drunk White man. I have seen obese drunk White men and believe me, those men are out of breath lifting one leg after the other. I reckon rapists are males being 15-45 who are of any race, not drunk and definitely not obese. I have to agree with some of the women here, certain Southern Europeans and Middle Eastern young men are the ones who cannot control their hormones and lack respect for women especially if the woman is on her own. I have lives in Australia now for 8 years and I can tell you every incidence of pack rape have been by Lebanese muslims. I've been treated with far more respect by the Southern Europeans than by some drunken, short, fat white Finns, though. Really, I've now been molested physically three Saturdays in row. I guess I should start going out with more intimidating looking peope than I currently do.
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Post by MC anunnaki on May 17, 2005 6:51:30 GMT -5
I don't know what the foreigners in Scandinavia are drinking, but in North America the typical rapist is white. Going strictly by numbers, Swedish men "win". But when putting numbers in proportion to population size, non-European men end up on the number 1 spot, but only when it comes to a) gangrape and b) "attack rape" (that is rape done by someone the woman doesn't know). Most rapes are still committed by someone the woman knows (ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, boyfriend, husband, friend etc) and here the Swedish men are leading. However, these rapes don't get much attention because they rarely get reported. What people read about (and then form negative stereotypes about immigrant men) are the gangrapes (almost always 4-6 guys on one girl, many times the girl is a young teenager) and the "attack rapes". This is horrible, but also sad because most immigrant men don't rape or beat up their women and still they get a bad reputation.
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Post by MC anunnaki on May 17, 2005 6:56:12 GMT -5
it seems that women here share a lot of prejudices against those insolent darky men, called Abdullah or Mamadou (from exotic countries where sun favours a powerful sexual appetence) who have the nerve to talk to them... I don't think the problem is (unless you're a racist of course) that "dark" men talk to you, but more that they won't stop and go away even if you tell them you're not interested. If they did that then it wouldn't feel so awkward. And I would love to visit Morocco.
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Post by eufrenio on May 17, 2005 7:12:18 GMT -5
I wish the old stereotype of the horny Southern European would go away! Let´s say that Southern European are more outgoing when it comes to chatting girls up, but that is not the same as harassment let alone rape. Rape figures are quite low in Spain. This is still one of the safest countries for women to visit, next to the Vatican, of course!
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Post by zemelmete on May 17, 2005 7:15:44 GMT -5
I don't think the problem is (unless you're a racist of course) that "dark" men talk to you, but more that they won't stop and go away even if you tell them you're not interested. If they did that then it wouldn't feel so awkward. Exactly. I don't care what man is after origin, but if he molest me when I have no interest and even doesn't accept word "no", I would better send him to the hell. I do not want to say that insolent are only "darky" men. Insolent can be europeans too. But the thing is, that "darky" men are more often insolent than european (at least N european). And I would love to visit Morocco. I would like too But seems only with boyfriend who is 2 m tall and 2 m flat with muscles ;D This is the thing what many at least eastern european girls don't understand. Here, if some strange man is chatting too much cheeky with girl, it means that he has sexual interest and can be even ready for raping.
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