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Post by vela on Apr 17, 2005 15:11:57 GMT -5
This is the counterpart to the question addressed to men about volunteering to be sperm donors.
The question is very straightforward but you may want to elaborate on the reasons for your decision: social, religious, racial, etc. implications.
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Post by vela on Apr 17, 2005 16:31:52 GMT -5
Imagine yourselves being able to look at a catalog and choose eye color, skin tone, height, etc.
Or maybe you'd be more inclined to choose by other attributes like intellectual capacities, artistic talent, etc.
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Post by zemelmete on Apr 18, 2005 3:17:20 GMT -5
I prefer natural way.
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Post by Ilmatar on Apr 18, 2005 4:06:08 GMT -5
After another Saturday night out spent thinking: "Where did all these freaks crawl out from ?" my answer would, unfortunately, be "maybe".
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Post by zemelmete on Apr 18, 2005 5:01:14 GMT -5
I understand you. ;D
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Post by MC anunnaki on Apr 18, 2005 6:40:10 GMT -5
Haha, so true, Ilmatar! ;D
My answer would be no. Strictly emotional reasons.
When it comes to donating eggs, it would still be no. I would not donate my own eggs nor would I accept another woman's eggs if I was infertile. Strictly emotional reasons here as well.
Edit: Just wanted to add that I see nothing wrong in egg and sperm donations, I just don't want it for myself, that's all.
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Post by murphee on Apr 18, 2005 12:45:59 GMT -5
Hard for me to answer that one because I was infertile and now am past menopause.
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Post by Anja on Apr 18, 2005 14:23:13 GMT -5
No. I guess I wouldn't like that because it takes away from the uniqueness of the child. And so what if the kid turns out strange looking, or has a mental problem - you wouldn't love them any less.
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Post by Circe on Apr 18, 2005 17:36:18 GMT -5
No. Why? anunnaki enumerated the reasons I don't approve of designer-babies, it's too "brave-new-world"-ish and totally against my principles, however, I have nothing against sperm and egg donations as a form of infertility treatment...
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Post by vela on Apr 19, 2005 15:22:29 GMT -5
Haha, so true, Ilmatar! ;D My answer would be no. Strictly emotional reasons.When it comes to donating eggs, it would still be no. I would not donate my own eggs nor would I accept another woman's eggs if I was infertile. Strictly emotional reasons here as well.Edit: Just wanted to add that I see nothing wrong in egg and sperm donations, I just don't want it for myself, that's all. Emphasis above is mine. This is a hypothetical situation which may force you to do some soul searching. Ok. You're talking about two things here: 1. Conceiving a child from an unknown father 2. Donating an egg to an unknown mother I'm trying to understand what you mean by "emotional reasons". Would you feel remorse? Would you feel that you’re depriving a child from knowing his biological father (in the first case). ? Is it too painful for a mother to even imagine the possibility of a child feeling lost, rejected, hungry (in the second case).? If it is an emotion that prevents you from breaking an emotional mother-child bond, then I ask you, how does this virtual bond compares to the bond that you now feel to your own mother. In other words, who is more strongly attached to that bond, the mother or the child? Is our point of view single sided?
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Post by MC anunnaki on Apr 20, 2005 6:46:58 GMT -5
Ok. You're talking about two things here: 1. Conceiving a child from an unknown father 2. Donating an egg to an unknown mother I'm trying to understand what you mean by "emotional reasons". Would you feel remorse? Nope. If I was single I wouldn't want to receive sperm because I don't want to be a single mom. My mom was a single mom and it was very difficult for her which in turn made my childhood and teens difficult. I'm simply afraid I won't be able to take care of a child on my own. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't not want to have a bond to a child which my husband/boyfriend can't share. I would prefer to adopt. I will not donate any eggs because it would always feel like whatever children they eventually turn into are mine. If it is an emotion that prevents you from breaking an emotional mother-child bond, then I ask you, how does this virtual bond compares to the bond that you now feel to your own mother. In other words, who is more strongly attached to that bond, the mother or the child? Is our point of view single sided? The mother definitely. The mother is the one who carries the child and nurtures for it during it's upbringing. We as children can't love our parents the same way they love us. Difficult to explain.
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Post by zemelmete on Apr 20, 2005 7:41:02 GMT -5
I don't want to get child in unnatural way because of several reasons: 1.I don't want to have sperm from unknown male. 2.If i would have unfertile husband, we would do something that he could get fertile or (if it's not repairable) we could have children not at all. 3.If i would be single, I would NEVER want child. By my opinion child/-ren need both parents. 4.I hate all kinds of clinics and hospitals. I don't want even to imagine that sperm put in me doctor or nurse. brrrrrr
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Post by Ilmatar on Apr 20, 2005 11:43:23 GMT -5
This really is an emotional issue for me, since now that I finally feel ready to be a mother - I've always just adored children, but realized I'm not emotionally stable enaugh to have some of my own - I'm pushing 30 and I'm single again....
I too hate the idea of a "designer baby". However, haven't people been "designing babies" without any help from the science since the prehistorical times ? I think that when speaking of the opposite sex we all are attracted to certain qualities that we want our children to have. I've noticed that some of my biggest turn ons in men are basicly the same qualities I would like my children to posses. I think I could never truely love a man that I couldn't see as a father of my children...
But then again, this is exactly the reason why I don't like the idea of bearing a child of a complete stranger, of whom I knew only little if nothing. I might consider having a baby with a very good friend, someone I know well and respect, but then again, I wouldn't not want to face being a single parent, even if I know my own family would be there for me. Therefore, I just think that if there won't be anyone "suitable" (a terrible, Victorian sounding word) to start a family with around in the next 8-10 years time, I just have to be a good "auntie" for the children of my friends and relatives.
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Post by vela on Apr 20, 2005 12:25:26 GMT -5
All right, I can see now that this option is definitely not acceptable to female posters here at Dodona. Could any of you (female readers) imagine what goes in the mind of a woman that would find this a viable option for pregnancy. Just for a moment, get in the shoes of someone who would undergo an artificial insemination. Just as a complement to the topic, take a look at the webpages of some sperm banks and what they offer. These sites were just selected at random from a quick google search. www.thespermbankofca.org/www.xytex.com/www.nwcryobank.com/default.asp
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Post by murphee on Apr 20, 2005 12:32:39 GMT -5
I have a friend whose sister underwent this procedure and now has a 7-year-old girl. My friend told me that her sister desperately wanted to have a biological child but did not want a man in her life. She was in her early thirties and had given up hope of 'finding the right man,' so she went this route. She is a member of a conservative Christian family, and although they thought it was strange, they have accepted and embraced her and her child.
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