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Post by regularGuy on Mar 26, 2005 1:08:31 GMT -5
if she was giving me grief, just give me any excuse and id pack my bags and leave
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Post by CooCooCachoo on Mar 26, 2005 2:58:49 GMT -5
My brother's first wife never told her family what my brother actually was (African, French, British, Arabic, Chinese and Dutch), so they just assumed he was white, because he looks the part (including blond hair and green eyes). It wasn't until the the weekend of his wedding that her family saw his true "colors" when we all showed up looking like the rainbow coalition. Her father immediately got up, publically denounced the "whole mixed race thing," said a few choice words and left. He refused to speak to his daughter nor acknowledge his grandchildren, one of whom was two when the wedding took place, until they divorced; and he still doesn't recognize his three grandchildren. The funny thing is that her family isn't completely white my ex sister-in-law was always talking about and showing pictures of her Lumbee (mixed Native American) PATERNAL great gandmother, plus two of her three children by my brother are the only blondes on her side of the family. I think the whole situation made my brother a little bit more militant (not much though) because his second wife is of Haitian mulatto descent. Oh yeah? Well I had the opposite experience. I married a woman only to find out she was part African American. (She didn't look it, and I wouldn't have even cared.) But then she started INSISTING that we start to commemorate Black History month. ...I let that one go. But that wasn't enough. Two years later she insisted that we make the kids celebrate Qwanza instead of Christmas!?!?! ...They practically had a fit. They were 5 and 7 at the time, and didn't understand why we had to wait until 2 days AFTER Christmas to get their gifts. ...And yes, we got a divorce shortly thereafter. But do you know what both these stories have in common? ...They're both total BULLSHIT!!!!! No One on the PLANET stands up two days before their daughters wedding and denounces interracial marriage. ...You are seriously full of crap.
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Post by mike2 on Mar 26, 2005 3:37:02 GMT -5
Kwanzaa is a big dumb phony holiday anyway, concocted in 1966 by the black nationalist Ron Karenga to make ignorant black Americans feel like they have some kind of religious or cultural ties with Africa. They don't of course. Black Americans might as well be white people. The only thing they have in common with Africa is race. Kwanzaa is a complete invention, rooted in nationalist racism and reparational backlash against the white man's religion, Christianity.
You know what you should have done, CooCooCachoo, you should have said that if the family was going to celebrate Black History Month, then the family was also going to celebrate White History Month.
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Post by quartermetis on Mar 26, 2005 10:15:22 GMT -5
Oh yeah? Well I had the opposite experience. I married a woman only to find out she was part African American. (She didn't look it, and I wouldn't have even cared.) But then she started INSISTING that we start to commemorate Black History month. ...I let that one go. But that wasn't enough. Two years later she insisted that we make the kids celebrate Qwanza instead of Christmas!?!?! ...They practically had a fit. They were 5 and 7 at the time, and didn't understand why we had to wait until 2 days AFTER Christmas to get their gifts. ...And yes, we got a divorce shortly thereafter. But do you know what both these stories have in common? ...They're both total BULLSHIT!!!!! No One on the PLANET stands up two days before their daughters wedding and denounces interracial marriage. ...You are seriously full of crap. Well first of all NEVER say what a person will or won't do, human beings are capable of anything. Secondly her father didn't really approve of the wedding in the first place, he wasn't too happy when she got pregnant with their first child and didn't have the greatest realtionship with his daughter anyways. Maybe the whole "interracial thing" was his excuse "out" but whatever it was, it created a lot of drama and ruined a lot of relationships in the process, including my borthers and his ex wife's.
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Post by CooCooCachoo on Mar 26, 2005 10:33:29 GMT -5
Well first of all NEVER say what a person will or won't do, human beings are capable of anything. Secondly her father didn't really approve of the wedding in the first place, he wasn't too happy when she got pregnant with their first child and didn't have the greatest realtionship with his daughter anyways. Maybe the whole "interracial thing" was his excuse "out" but whatever it was, it created a lot of drama and ruined a lot of relationships in the process, including my brothers and his ex wife's. Ummm ....No. A couple makes it on their own, and not by the merits of maintained family relationships. (Although that can add extra strain.) Maybe you guys showed up like the Rainbow coalition, and acted superior, and cocky, and he didn't like that. Maybe all it took was your brother getting his daughter pregnant, and no one making him feel welcome at the ceremony. Who knows, but the person I feel bad for in the story is the daughter. It's not like your brother stayed married to her.
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Post by CooCooCachoo on Mar 26, 2005 10:51:08 GMT -5
What's he militant about? The fact that she bore him 3 children?
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Bryce
Full Member
Posts: 206
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Post by Bryce on Mar 26, 2005 11:01:47 GMT -5
I have a question that could be posted in the "genetics and evolution" sector, but it is connected to this thread : it is about "throwback babies" (I didn't know this ugly-sounding term before reading this thread). Since all the caucasoid genes are recessive (especially the genes coding for narrow noses, non-frizzy hair and fair skin when untanned), how can supposedly masked negroid black genes pop up generations later ? What makes them dormant and what makes them functional again ? I'm not a geneticist, I don't master all the necessary knowledge to understand the resurgence of "racially discordant" traits in a family, so I've always wondered if these sudden explanations about a mulatto great-grandparent in families to which a black baby is born are valid or are ways to avoid a crisis. My question is naive, I'm not trying to insult anyone or to start a polemic.
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bad
Junior Member
Posts: 52
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Post by bad on Mar 27, 2005 3:33:57 GMT -5
I have a question that could be posted in the "genetics and evolution" sector, but it is connected to this thread : it is about "throwback babies" (I didn't know this ugly-sounding term before reading this thread). Since all the caucasoid genes are recessive (especially the genes coding for narrow noses, non-frizzy hair and fair skin when untanned), how can supposedly masked negroid black genes pop up generations later ? What makes them dormant and what makes them functional again ? I'm not a geneticist, I don't master all the necessary knowledge to understand the resurgence of "racially discordant" traits in a family, so I've always wondered if these sudden explanations about a mulatto great-grandparent in families to which a black baby is born are valid or are ways to avoid a crisis. My question is naive, I'm not trying to insult anyone or to start a polemic. well say the mulatto parent looks like amanda marshall say the child takes after a grandparent in looks. that could happen. just like a person 1/4 polish can look all polish even if the parent doesn't
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Post by quartermetis on Mar 27, 2005 14:36:13 GMT -5
Ummm ....No. A couple makes it on their own, and not by the merits of maintained family relationships. (Although that can add extra strain.) Maybe you guys showed up like the Rainbow coalition, and acted superior, and cocky, and he didn't like that. Maybe all it took was your brother getting his daughter pregnant, and no one making him feel welcome at the ceremony. Who knows, but the person I feel bad for in the story is the daughter. It's not like your brother stayed married to her. We had never even met her family before the wedding and had NO preconcieved notions about them so we certianly didn't show up acting superior and cocky. Many of my family members aren't Americans and their English isn't the best and I know that many of her family members made unappropriate remarks about that, although I will point out that her mother treated us very kindly. Also, since you brought it up, my brother worshipped the ground his first wife walked on and SHE LEFT him with three kids to raise on his own-I'll admit I'm a little biased and bitter because of that
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Bryce
Full Member
Posts: 206
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Post by Bryce on Mar 27, 2005 15:44:19 GMT -5
Hello Bad, You may well be right. I just want to ask you, for my personal culture : who is Amanda Marshall?
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Post by CooCooCachoo on Mar 27, 2005 18:17:43 GMT -5
We had never even met her family before the wedding and had NO preconcieved notions about them so we certianly didn't show up acting superior and cocky. Many of my family members aren't Americans and their English isn't the best and I know that many of her family members made unappropriate remarks about that, although I will point out that her mother treated us very kindly. Also, since you brought it up, my brother worshipped the ground his first wife walked on and SHE LEFT him with three kids to raise on his own-I'll admit I'm a little biased and bitter because of that Women typically don't do that, unless they're alchies. (Alchoholics.) Don't know much about the situation, but you said she was pregnant and gave birth BEFORE having her family even meet your brother? ...Doesn't sound like he was doing everything by the book. Kind of an obligation to knock on the door and say, "Um, hi sir, I knocked up your daughter." ...It's an American custom.
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Post by tokenguy on Mar 28, 2005 9:18:09 GMT -5
Women typically don't do that, unless they're alchies. (Alchoholics.) Don't know much about the situation, but you said she was pregnant and gave birth BEFORE having her family even meet your brother? ...Doesn't sound like he was doing everything by the book. Kind of an obligation to knock on the door and say, "Um, hi sir, I knocked up your daughter." ...It's an American custom. Sure in a perfect society, but as we know reality is totally different. There's no set rules regarding marriage, pregnancy, and family that everyone MUST, and DOES follow. There are lots of people who don't know or even speak to other realtives, lots of brides and grooms who never show up to their own weddings, all kinds of drama. The days of "Leave it to Beaver," "hello I want to marry your daughter, sir" are a thing of the past for many people.
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Post by quartermetis on Mar 28, 2005 16:09:20 GMT -5
Women typically don't do that, unless they're alchies. (Alchoholics.) Don't know much about the situation, but you said she was pregnant and gave birth BEFORE having her family even meet your brother? ...Doesn't sound like he was doing everything by the book. Kind of an obligation to knock on the door and say, "Um, hi sir, I knocked up your daughter." ...It's an American custom. It seems that no matter what the situation, you're determined to place all the blame on my non-white brother, because it would be inhumane for the "white" side to have anything to do with their failed marriage. He wasn't perfct, but she and her "rebel, good ole boy" father were FAR from perfect as well, and in the end my brother ended up being the one to pick up the pieces, and try to provide some sense of normalcy for his "bastard" childern, as their MATERNAL grandfather refers to them. Plus its not just my brother, her father doesn't particularly approve of his other CATHOLIC son-in-law either, and he's "white" as far as we know.
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Post by CooCooCachoo on Mar 28, 2005 21:55:15 GMT -5
...So it isn't racism. The old coot hates everybody. Yeah, my accusation is racially motivated. I have no problem with the fact that he got her pregnant out of wedlock, and then didn't suceed in the marriage. ...EXCEPT for the fact that he's from a Black family. You really put the "Jerk" in Knee-Jerk liberalism. Hoorah for you. "My family showed up like the Rainbow Coalition" ....Muuuuuurrrr.
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Post by quartermetis on Mar 29, 2005 7:44:02 GMT -5
...So it isn't racism. The old coot hates everybody. Yeah, my accusation is racially motivated. I have no problem with the fact that he got her pregnant out of wedlock, and then didn't suceed in the marriage. ...EXCEPT for the fact that he's from a Black family. You really put the "Jerk" in Knee-Jerk liberalism. Hoorah for you. "My family showed up like the Rainbow Coalition" ....Muuuuuurrrr. That statement isn't "Knee-Jerk liberalism" its an expression on my family's phenotype, as I mentioned earlier we're NOT just "black," I'm of African, Arabic, French, Dutch, British, and Chinese descent. There is a whole range of color within my immedate and extended family. Between my siblings alone you've got some who can pass for "white" (i.e. my brother), my sister looks Eurasian, my other two sisters and I, well people don't know what we are; we've got the whole "racially ambiguous" look; and my youngest brother looks like any fair- skinned Ialian or other Med. man I've seen; and I though people on this site were against the whole hypodescent or "one drop rule." You even started a forum stating that skin color doesn't make a person black, and that we're all caucasian, how is my blonde haired, green eyed, white skinned, european featured brother black? Oh and by the way it takes TWO to get someone pregnant, and TWO to make a marriage work, he didn't walk out on her like some deadbeat dad, she left HIM with THREE kids to raise alone. It was her decision for us not to meet his family until SHE decided they were serious enough to get married. I'm FARRRRR from liberal, or conservative for that matter, baby I'm a REALIST, I don't feed into all of these fantasies of how life, and families, are SUPPOSED to be, they are what they are. I had no problems with her family until they created some with mine, in fact I still love and talk to her mother and sister who was the only one to show some respect, and accept her grandchildren and my brother, as I mentioned earlier. But hey, at least I now know not to take anything personal since you hate everybody, thanks for the heads up!!!!
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