To marry or not to marry

[eufrenio]

What is your opinion on marriage? Is it the best way of life for everybody?

[MC anunnaki]

I think most people would be happy in a loving relationship with someone, but you don't have to be married to be in such a relationship. Also, it's not really wrong to not want to marry and settle down with one person. Everyone's idea of the good life is different. I voted no.

[Lada]

It depends on personality of everybody, on their opinions, what marriage means for them. I connect marriage with kids. I can live with somebody I like and not being married. But if I planed to settle down= to have got kids, I would like to have them with my husband, not any boyfriend etc. That s how I feel...
There are some people having very independent nature, for those marriage isn't good way of life.

[murphee]

It is for me, but it is not for everyone.

[Josh]

I know that I have every intention of getting married, as it fits very well with my personality. I must be a genetic anomaly of a male, since I at 18 actually want to have a stable, loving, and faithful relationship instead of running around and using females as outlets to fulfill bouts of animalistic lust. This is why I always get very annoyed when people act like all guys are obsessed with sex, since it is quite unimportant and secondary to me when compared to my desire to find the female with whom I'd like to spend the rest of my life. Then again, a close female friend of mine who I known for five years has told me that I think like a woman in many ways. Still, as I know that not everyone places as much importance as do in finding one person with whom to faithfully and lovingly share a life, I voted depends. With the divorce rate at 50% in the US, I think that there are a lot of people who shouldn't be getting married. Speaking of which, why is the divorce rate so high in the US? Are people less happy with their marriages than they were in the past, or do people do it more because the stigma against it isn't as strong as it used to be?

[gambin]

josh said:

I know that I have every intention of getting married, as it fits very well with my personality. I must be a genetic anomaly of a male, since I at 18 actually want to have a stable, loving, and faithful relationship instead of running around and using females as outlets to fulfill bouts of animalistic lust.

Just some advice to you: Don't totally rule-out having fun. You're 18 and things may change, you never know. Just keep options open. A friend of mine who got married told me that though he doesn't regret his marriage and loves his wife very much, he gets every now and then a question in his mind that says: "Some other fields can look greener".

So Josh, I say this to you: don't be a slut necessarily, but try to visit a few fields before sticking to one pasture. It's not always necessarily animalistic lust.

josh said:

With the divorce rate at 50% in the US, I think that there are a lot of people who shouldn't be getting married. Speaking of which, why is the divorce rate so high in the US? Are people less happy with their marriages than they were in the past, or do people do it more because the stigma against it isn't as strong as it used to be?

I have mixed feelings about the big divorce hikes. There used to be an NPO called D.A.D.I. (Dads Against the Divorce Industry) that tried to curb all the divorces going around as it was devastating family life.

I have mixed feelings because: I am against the notion of treating divorce/marriage as frivolous and the general lack of commitment. The whole: "Hey, I can always get a divorce" attitude prior to taking the plunge.

On the other hand, I am sympathetic to women/men who are in truly unhappy or heaven forbid abusive relationships. If the relationship is unhealthy and will ultimately have heavy detrimental affects on one or both of the persons involved then I think divorce is the best way to solve this problem.

[murphee]

People were having a heated discussion at the dinner table at a recent family reunion--people were claiming the 50% divorce rate was true, and others said no--I can't remember exactly, but some said that 75-80% of first marriages in the US do end with the death of a spouse. The 50% figure is skewed by those who are married multiple times, for example the 'Liz Taylors,' and those who have been married two or three times.
As for yourself, Josh, there are men like you but they are rarer I think than the tomcats or the wannabe Lotharios...I believe your future wife is lucky.

[annienormanna]

murphee said:

People were having a heated discussion at the dinner table at a recent family reunion--people were claiming the 50% divorce rate was true, and others said no--I can't remember exactly, but some said that 75-80% of first marriages in the US do end with the death of a spouse. The 50% figure is skewed by those who are married multiple times, for example the 'Liz Taylors,' and those who have been married two or three times.
As for yourself, Josh, there are men like you but they are rarer I think than the tomcats or the wannabe Lotharios...I believe your future wife is lucky.

There is so much hype and noise about marriage and divorce. But there are numbers:

www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/02news/div_mar_cohab.htm

In the meantime, Love is all there is.

[Josh]

pollusan said:

Just some advice to you: Don't totally rule-out having fun. You're 18 and things may change, you never know. Just keep options open. A friend of mine who got married told me that though he doesn't regret his marriage and loves his wife very much, he gets every now and then a question in his mind that says: "Some other fields can look greener".

So Josh, I say this to you: don't be a slut necessarily, but try to visit a few fields before sticking to one pasture. It's not always necessarily animalistic lust.

Hehe, I like how you use the term "slut" in a gender neutral way, as I feel that terms like "slut" and "whore" should be gender neutral since such behavior isn't restricted to either gender. However, I'm not against testing the waters as you say and seeing what's out there, as I'm sure I'll have several relationships before finding the woman I want to marry. I never meant that people should only date people that they think they'd eventually marry, that would be absurd. In fact, I think that in order to know what one would truly want in their significant other, it would be helpful to learn some of it through experience and trial/error. However, that is all very different from making indiscriminate and uncommitted sexual conquests, which I know many guys my age would like to do, but not me. Now if only there was some red light that would shine when I meet my future wife, I could skip going through the process of seeing what's out there, hehe. ;D

pollusan said:

I have mixed feelings about the big divorce hikes. There used to be an NPO called D.A.D.I. (Dads Against the Divorce Industry) that tried to curb all the divorces going around as it was devastating family life.

I have mixed feelings because: I am against the notion of treating divorce/marriage as frivolous and the general lack of commitment. The whole: "Hey, I can always get a divorce" attitude prior to taking the plunge.

On the other hand, I am sympathetic to women/men who are in truly unhappy or heaven forbid abusive relationships. If the relationship is unhealthy and will ultimately have heavy detrimental affects on one or both of the persons involved then I think divorce is the best way to solve this problem.

I agree with you here. I guess that I've known a fair number of friends and aquaintances of my parents that have fallen under the first category, and it just seems very risky to adopt such views when making such a long term commitment. Likewise, the reasons you give in the second paragraph are perfectly legitimate reasons for leaving.

[Josh]

murphee said:

As for yourself, Josh, there are men like you but they are rarer I think than the tomcats or the wannabe Lotharios...I believe your future wife is lucky.

Why thank you. I'd like to think that my loyal nature will be appreciated someday.

[aroundtheworld]

When Dolph Lundgren, Hugh Jackman, Keanu Reeves, or John Schneider propose, then yes I will marry them.

[aroundtheworld]

I do!!!!

[eufrenio]

anunnaki said:

I think most people would be happy in a loving relationship with someone, but you don't have to be married to be in such a relationship. Also, it's not really wrong to not want to marry and settle down with one person. Everyone's idea of the good life is different. I voted no.

I didn´t mean marriage as opposed to cohabitation: I meant married life instead of being single.
There isn´t that much difference between marriage and cohabitation, when you compare both against bachelorhood.

[eufrenio]

Josh, when I was 16 I wanted to marry as soon as possible and have 8 kids: Now I´m 38 and still single. Life is unpredictable.

[Educate Me]

I am a catholic, no other options

I am a bad catholic

, but once I have enough money to live alone I would like to get married